What’s Worth Accepting: RSVP With Caution
It doesn't happen often, but I've received the "you're welcome to come...," "if you want to join...," or "I wasn't sure you'd be interested..." type of informal invitation in the past. I don't normally think too much of them but it recently brought to my mind our approach to sincere invitations towards one another. I'm not talking only about parties and social events (though that is where I am basing this idea and those are still very important considerations), but especially those "life invitations," both personal and professional, where there should be some heart and commitment in the matter.
If you're like me, time spent and energy expended are indicators of love and appreciation. I give God, my loved ones, worthwhile causes, and enjoyable activities my time and energy because they are immensely fulfilling and make me a more peaceful, pure, and positive person. If I begin to sense then that I am unimportant or a simple accessory to a person or event, I become uncomfortable and begin to question why I'm involved. I want to go where I am a desired and meaningful contributor.
We experience these feelings most within our physical interactions, but it really starts in the spiritual realm, affecting our way of relating to one another and accepting invitations to follow God. God provides the best examples of heartfelt requests and ways to navigate insincere invitations. He does this through our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Below I have crafted a list on how we can be more aware to the power and beauty of a wholehearted invitation...
1. Be knowledgeable of a right invitation: defined as a genuine request to go with or follow another with consequential reward - given authentically, happily, and freely (John 12:26). God deeply wants us to commune with Him. His desire is not hidden behind emotionless invitations. From His heart, He invites us to relationship and discipleship because it offers consequential love, salvation, and redemption. If we can wrap our minds around such a beautiful example of an invitation to relationship and RSVP yes to Him, we won't entertain nor give half-hearted invitations based in convenience. You know, those important invitations into friendship, marriage, career choices, etc. God's love towards us should set the precedence for making and accepting invitations to live with others. His ways help us to understand what an empty invitation is...
Curl check: Is the invitation you gave out or received from someone else coming from a genuine place? Are you sincere and joyful in your request? Is it coated with assurance or done with apprehension?
2. Reject empty invitations. If you find that you must RSVP no to a "life invitation" (that is leaving a friendship, ending a relationship, healing yourself instead of staying in a painful but comfortable situation, considering a different career direction, jumping off the cliff of control to blindly fall into unknown freedom, etc.), there is still work to be done after that decision is made. We should not harbor hurt or frustration towards others or happenings for too long - but there is a small period of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), which at some point must transition into Forgiving Ourselves/others & Moving On. Don't fault the inviter either, we are all human, but do take note so that you do not fall into frustrations again. Remember that everywhere you're invited is not where you should go. Some ties are not meant to be knotted, and it's best to use discernment when making decisions of rejection, rather than accepting an insincere or empty request. Your “yes” is very important. If someone truly wanted your participation, they would openly and honestly let you know that your presence is a positive addition.
Curl check: In the Gospels, when Satan tempted Jesus multiple times in the wilderness with invitations to sin, Jesus grew stronger and stronger in 1) understanding Satan's sinister and negative ways and how to relate to him, and 2) knowing His own Word, its promise, and its truth. Curl, how do you ward off potentially hurtful and/or tempting invitations? What do you know about the people inviting you? What do you believe about yourself? What are you certain of about your God and His Word toward you?
3. Do fun things with those who want to have fun WITH YOU. This is fairly simple to decipher...with God - fun is growth, blessings, charges toward consecration, genuine community, peace, truth, triumphs, sanctification, and eternal life. With Satan - fun is sin absent of repentance, malice, judgment, lies, idolatry, loneliness, un-forgiveness, and damnation. People who want to do life with you will offer it graciously, not out of obligation or with ulterior motives. Period.
4. Don't belittle your importance in the Father. You may be tempted to think that you aren't special enough, needed, or valued, leaving you to question your worth with particular people. However, remember that if you already struggle with your importance in the eyes of others, Satan will use people to feed that insecurity. God invites you to do GREAT things in this world (Mark 10:21), and He does so enthusiastically...not if you want to or because you're welcomed to join in on a "party" already in progress. You are not a question mark with our Father, but a certainty; your presence in the plans for His people is VERY IMPORTANT. In His eyes, you are more than needed, you're a must!
5. Retire the lukewarm invitations. Don't extend requests when you do not see a need or desire. Our Father does not simply say, "I'm not sure if you want to commune with Me, but if you want to I'll make room for you." No! He urges us, pleads for our connection, and assures us that He already has a place-setting for us. That's how we all want to feel, like a priority, an important entity, an included number. If we cannot wholeheartedly do that for others, we needn't do it at all.
As Christian, we are called, charged, and employed to be genuine inviters: feed my sheep, make disciples, love your neighbor as yourself. We do not have the example or the direction to be lukewarm. Invitations, sincere and joyous, are what our lives are all about - we invite others into the miraculous freedom and grace of our Father, and we should be going places where our Father can be found.
I'll say it once again, everywhere you're invited is not where you should go. We have to learn what's worth accepting and what is not. Curlfriends, your time, energy, love, skills, education, gifts, and heart are created by God, and should be regarded as such. Do not be put down by man's (that's family, friends, or strangers) unenthused invitations, but remember what it means to be desired and truly welcomed.
RSVP with caution, Curlfriends.
Smile, Shine, & Love!!!
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I love you, Curls!
